Good day again fellow pervs and pervettes, libertines all. Today we will discuss two of my top ten favorite things on this green sexual earth. Number 1 is sex of course (imagine that, probably a lot of y’alls number ones). Another on that list though is comfort.
There are days where we are all fine doing spastic sexual gymnastics in order to please both ourselves and our partners. Those are great times afterwards, exhausted and covered in sweat, and then sometimes ridiculously sore the next day. Not that pounding accomplished genital worked out hard as hell sore either. This is that rickety octogenarian oh god my hip kind of sore. Dudes especially will start to have old man back issues from super hot encounters and then sometimes out of commission for hours or days. Imagine your man calling into work saying they can’t make it in. You get to hear them mumble an excuse to the boss about their back when you know it was from supporting you while standing and making passionate as hell love.
What can we do about this, especially as we get older? Well boy howdy am I glad you asked. Today we are going to look at some cushions, oh I mean SEX CUSHIONS, that should help us along our way. For us awkward moving nerds out there, no longer will time be wasted fumbling for position. These bad boys do all the work for us so that we can focus on more….. stimulating thoughts. So let’s do it to it and take a gander at some soft, sensual, luxurious fuck cushions.
One thing I should mention. There is a company that has an auto-erotic asphyxiative chokehold on this industry. This monolith of a company is known as Liberator. They manufacture some of the best, and I just wanted to frontload (heh) this before going on. This way you aren’t just like, oh so this is a list of 14 Liberators. We all love being liberated, and these folks will definitely get us on our way.
“What is this, did you pull this off your couch fine reviewer?” That is a question I can understand as the Nightlife Premium Sex pillow could obfuscate itself even in your grandmarm’s living room. Watch out if you do see this there though, granny just may be as much of a freak as you are.
The Nightlife premium sex pillow has an inner waterproof layer that will keep all of our fluids and lubes from penetrating deep into the soft pillowy wonderfulness within the core. Fuck on this, wash the exterior, and then leave it out. Nobody will be any the wiser.
Ahhhh, pillow humping. The activity of 12-13 year olds everywhere. Relive those glory days, either by yourself or with a partner as hips grind into the Toughage sex pillow for couples. Easily inflatable and comes equipped with a fuckable hole for those of yall with something sticking out.
“I thought this was a sex pillow article! Stop showing me bedroom/living room shit!” Yes again I understand your confusion. There will be no confusion though once you have your mate pressed up against the Liberator Decor Heart Wedge.
As an added bonus, because of the heart design, it gives us a more unique area to grip onto as we get the hell pounded out of us. It is soft as hell and has an easy to remove washable cover. With the Liberator Decor Heart wedge we all get to be Valentines.
Great for those on the go who still want to plow ramp-style. The Utimi Inflatable Ramp Pillow stores easy, and engorges just like a hard cock. Once pumped you can hold onto the provided fuck handles and have the time of your life.
So the first thing that comes to my mind when I hear the word Jazz is scat. Thank good golly goodness that this is not something about shitting (maybe look out for a top 6 shittin tables sometime though). The Liberator Jaz is great for your syncopative and staccato sensual needs.
The Liberator Jaz has the important qualities too. Machine washable cover, waterproof inner line, and in this case easily stowed under the bed.
Solo guys, don’t worry I wasn’t gonna leave you out. Those with fleshlights and other masturbators know the suckiest part of any of them is rigamarole of attempting to have it actually simulate sex. Well worry not any longer because the Fleshlight Motion by Liberator is here to save the damn day.
Liberator made this specifically for the Fleshlight company so you know that all the dimensions are going to be perfect for whichever toy and insert you have. The pleather exterior keeps you from having sweaty fabric everywhere as you push towards glorious release.
The Fleshlight Motion by Liberator is also great for those looking for more staying power. Since you can simulate the actual act, you can work on your fuck muscles and being able to hold in that load longer.
Solo ladies, I wasn’t going to leave you out either. As camwhores and porn everywhere can attest, the Hitachi vibrator is the gold standard of lady bit tinglers. For y’all may I present the Liberator Axis Hitachi Toy Mount.
This time we insert a Hitachi in the hole turn it on, and get on for the ride of your life. Let’s say your carnal witchery involves ownership of a different wand. That is okay, the Liberator Axis Hitachi Toy Mount works with most wand toys out there.
So sit back, and maybe think about your mate fucking away at the Fleshlight Motion as he makes sure his performance is excellent for your next tryst.
Let’s say you our out visiting family and it is time to get freaky. First thing, anybody down to get down while having to spend the night as a guest at someone’s house is a keeper. We don’t want to be horrible guests though. So instead of staining their sheets or fucking on their towels, feel free to bring along the Liberator Throe Moisture Resistant Sex Blanket.
This comes in a convenient travel size so that we can travel and have it at the ready to make sure no fluids get soaked into your friend/relative’s bed. It comes in other sizes as well, this is especially nice if you are a little lazy and get sick of washing your own sheets all the time.
Here we have a great hump pillow specifically made for toy attachment. Let’s say a sybian is a bit too much either financially or sexually. In its place we can easily put the Liberator Bonbon. This great shape makes it wonderful for riding your favorite toy and going to town. The shape also is great for having one hole filled by the bonbon and perhaps…. something else filled by your mate.
You know what rules? That’s right, sitting. You ever try doing it in a chair? It sucks to highest heavens, nothing is angled right, the upholstery feels gross on your naked ass, tons of things are wrong with chair bangin. Not true with the Utimi Inflatable Love Chair.
Get lost in its smooth exterior and cuff your mate in for that wonderful feeling of not being able to escape your amorous advances. Also they get to sit, sitting is great. You know what else is great? Having a chair set them up for perfect angles of fuckery.
Thank you very much sweet sensual baby Jesus for delivering unto us the Utimi Inflatable Love Chair.
This of the Liberator Hipster as a specialized pillow with a twist. As you can tell by the contours of the Hipster, it is perfectly made for all the rounded parts of your body.
Better missionary, check. Better doggy? check. Better oral? ALSO CHECK. the Liberator Hipster goes down the laundry list of improved sexual experience.
You can’t go wrong with the Liberator Hipster. And it feels fucking great just lieing in bed with it, great neck and back support. Let those as seen on tv assholes try to make a pillow that competes with the Liberator Hipster.
For those of us who are indecisive, or completionists, and on the go, we have the Bestimulus Love Cushion Wedge and Ramp Combination. All the sensual delights of a ramp and a wedge. Don’t let a choice of only one piece of sex furniture bog down your spontaneity and spark.
The Bestimulus Love Cushion Wedge and Ramp Combination includes ties to restrain your partner. This allows them to give up control as you put their ankles on your shoulders to show those missionaries a thing or two about lovemaking. Or be tied up so that you cannot support yourself as your lover grips fiercely onto your hips and ravenously pumps in and out of you. Worry not, the estimulus Love Cushion Wedge and Ramp Combination is all the support you’ll need.
The Liberator 24-Inch Wedge/Ramp Combo is another combination cushion but this time solid and with the craftsmanship we have come to appreciate from the Liberator brand. The luxurious feel of the microfiber against your skin will tantalizingly prepare yourself for greater sensations yet to come. This same microfiber interlocks with itself to keep the wedge and ramp together during the fiercest lovemaking. The only thing more intertwined than the microfiber are the writhing bodies of you and your partner.
The Liberator 24-Inch Wedge/Ramp Combo is definitely for those who appreciate quality, both in their purchases and their sex lives. For those who prefer the finer things, this combination piece is for you.
Speaking of the finer things, the Liberator Black Label Esse is definitely one of the big daddies of the sex furniture bunch. Again we see the return of the Liberator microfiber so that you can rest comfortably and seductively upon this upscale chaise lounge. No position is out of question, no orgasm is out of question, nothing is out of question on the Liberator Black Label Esse.
Bring your date home and when they see the Liberator Black Label Esse they will know they can finally live out their explicit Christian Grey fantasies. People will see you as a person of class, and a person of wealth and mystery. They will have to plumb your depths as you will be too intriguing to resist.
Slowly but surely, you can tease your mate as they lay relaxed. Then slowly, agonizingly slowly, cuff them sturdily to the lounge. Then show them what they have been missing out on their entire lives. After one time on the Liberator Black Label Esse they will follow you down darker and darker until all their inhibition are freed.
If you can purchase this and haven’t, you are missing out on countless opportunities to explore the limits of your own explosive pleasure.
Okay gang, to close we should talk about what sex cushions and furniture can do for those that are injured or physically disabled. A wedge or ramp may be just what they need so that they may too enjoy a healthy sexual lifestyle. These cushions are amazing ways to spice up the bedroom. But I am also grateful that this can help liberate those who had thought a fulfilling sexual relationship was physically impossible. We should all be able to bang.
And with that I will take my leave, but you have a wealth of options to now consider to find the exact cushion from above to fit your carnal needs.